Today, March 28, is the day of my father’s birth. And, sadly, veteran actor of stage and screen Ron Soble passed away May 2, 2002 at age 74. Being the publicist in the family, it was my job to write the obituary that traveled far and wide in the entertainment news. I also spoke at the service to celebrate his life before an audience of life-long friends, neighbors, family members, and Hollywood celebrities. Hundreds of people came to honor his contributions to the entertainment industry.
Dad studied public speaking at the University of Michigan. His screen credits are many as his bio reveals.
In 2002, I didn’t know the role that public speaking would play in own life. Until I met Patricia Fripp in 2009, I had never before taken a speech class. One thing I did know was that my way with words would be my vehicle to make my own impact in life and work. Today, a decade after Dad’s passing, I’ve found a way to do both to make my own contribution. The truth is that I learned far more about PR by watching Dad in action than anything I learned in business school. Growing up around someone who loved the spotlight taught me a lot. It’s one of the reasons I am skilled at guiding others to claim their place in the light in this work I do today.
Ours was not an easy relationship. Despite our differences, the way he lived his life left a lasting impression and many lessons from which others can benefit. Today, on the date of his birth, I share those timely and timeless lessons with you.
When choosing your mate, make sure you get it right. My dad was fortunate to meet my mom early in life, and she stuck by him in good and bad times, in sickness and health, though career highs and lows, and for everything in between. Dad and Mom got it right.
Make good friends and keep them. Dad made friends from grade school, high school, college, and throughout his life. And he kept them. That’s richness beyond measure.
Choose work you love, and don’t look back. There’s nothing worse than going to the coal mine every day to do work you loathe. Dad made a career choice that spoke to his passion, and he stuck with it. There was never a question about doing something else to make ends meet. Doing what he loved was the only option. There is wisdom in that.
Believe what you believe, and defend what you value. My dad’s commitment to the rights of the working actor kept him fighting for the cause for years, and thousands of artists now benefit from his efforts. That is a lasting legacy.
Find your voice and use it. Dad was one to tell it like it is in language that would make a sailor blush. But he got his message across. You always knew where you stood with him. There’s something to be said for that.
It’s never too late to do something really wonderful. Dad gave my mom a simple wedding band when they married. Not too long before his passing, he ventured out to a jeweler friend and purchased a wedding set and diamond for my mom, after 48 years of marriage. He also started wearing his wedding ring. It’s never too late to get things right. In his final months, he sat alongside the bathtub to watch my toddler son take a bath. There’s nothing better than a little splish-splash in the bath to bring grins all around and create an abiding memory.
If you’ve got things to resolve with folks, find a way to make that happen. In his own way, he told me he was sorry for what had gone wrong with our relationship. That was a treasured, healing moment for us both.
As parents, we all hope that we are going to get that right, too. You hope your babies will be born healthy. You hope that you will be able to give them every opportunity. You hope they will do well in school, graduate from college, and create lives that make them happy.
My parents had two daughters. They gave us every opportunity to find our unique strengths and talents. We ventured into the world to choose wonderful husbands who are involved, supportive fathers to our children. We have both selected careers that allow us to express our unique talents and abilities and live lives that are consistent with our values.
It’s a wonderful thing to look back on my father’s life and see that – despite the differences we shared — good things are still unfolding for our own children as a result of the lessons we learned from Dad along the way.
