A senior care center owner and I were talking the other day. Annette Pang has worked closely with adult children and their parents and extended families for years. I asked what kinds of conflicts come up, and I got an ear-full.
> Who gets to decide if mom gets a new recliner or a new bed?
> Who gets grandma's dining room table?
> Who disposes of dad's ashes?
> Did he want to be cremated in the first place?
> How will we divide the family trust?
> What did mom or dad really want at end of life?
> Extraordinary measures or palliative care?
She told me that these kinds of things have caused huge rifts in families that have taken hours or years of coaching and support after the fact to attempt to heal.
Having served as a life transition coach for families who are in the aftermath of the grief that is their reality when these things are not discussed, Annette is the first to say that this is not easy work for any of the parties involved.
When I asked what the alternative would be, she said to talk these things through ahead of time.
It would be far less expensive and save everyone costly emotional heartache.
Maybe talking through things like this isn't on your priority list in this moment.
I get it.
And when I think about the consequences of not doing it, that shifts my perspective.
Making the choice to move a family member into a senior care home means that the family is going to have to pow-wow about whether mom or dad or grandma can afford it in the first place.
That means having a handle on the bills that need to be paid, the resources available to meet those obligations, and so much more.
Kids don't look forward to talking to their parents about this kind of stuff.
Parents may be reluctant to share.
Still, these conversations need to start and important information needs to be compiled because life turns on a dime.
Everything is fine and dandy, until it's not.
That's just real life.
Life Goes on Roadmap™ is a playful, empowering toolkit that guides you and your family to get your acts together before life hits a bump in the road.
This is more about LIFE than death.
That's a refreshing take to make starting these conversations even easier.
Here's one thing I know to be true.
In the end, it's never about grandma's dining room table.
It's about being seen, heard, and understood.
Make sure your wishes are known and you've created a roadmap to find everything your family needs, just in case they have to step in on your behalf or keep driving somehow without you.
If this message can serve someone in your life in perfect timing, please share it. Thank you.